As you lie awake in bed, in a world that feels dull and gray and joyless and unnecessary, the question flutters through your mind: “Why am I so depressed?”
At times this question can haunt your soul… while at other times it seems as meaningless as everything else. But what if this question: “Why am I so depressed?” holds within it the seeds of transformation, growth, and liberation?
What’s the point of anything, anyway?
Everything is garbage. What’s the point of doing anything at all? You might as well just give up and go back to sleep. Right?
I get it. I’ve been there. In college, I spent months sleeping all day, waking up after sunset, living a nocturnal life, ignoring my friends and family and classes and responsibilities. I didn’t care if my life fell apart, so it did. But this falling apart was necessary for me; it allowed me to let go of the parts of my life that weren’t working, so I could rebuild a better life, from the ground up.
The Dark Night Of The Soul is not the end… on the contrary, it is an important precursor for Awakening. The dark cocoon of the caterpillar is not the end… it is a necessary condition for metamorphosis.
Rather than thinking of yourself as “stuck in a dark hole,” take a moment to envision yourself as a caterpillar wrapped in a dark cocoon, letting your former self crumble to dust, to make way for a new (and more enjoyable) life.
The Caterpillar’s Journey
Trapped and immobile, the caterpillar’s old “self,” as a crawling creature, deteriorates with every passing day.
The caterpillar doesn’t know what’s coming next, but in its surrender, it allows itself to be dissolved, disintegrated, and reborn.
Why Am I So Depressed?
Like the caterpillar, you may feel as though your life is disintegrating. But this disintegration is a necessary process: a breaking down of your old life to pave the way for a beautiful new one 🦋
Depression is a psychological phenomenon that arises when something in your life is deeply out of alignment. It forces you to stop, to let go of the heavy, meaningless, unhappy life that you were living, and gives you the time and space to pause, reflect, and build the life that you actually want to live.
The Emergence of the Butterfly
After the darkness and dissolution of the cocoon, the caterpillar emerges as a butterfly.
In the same way, you can emerge from this dark period of depression as a stronger, fresher, more vibrant version of yourself.
Allow yourself this time to reflect, heal, and transform in your cocoon. Embrace the darkness, knowing that it is only a phase in the cycle of life.
A Path Through the Darkness: Practical Steps
Here’s where we can find solace, support, and guidance:
- Acceptance: Just as the caterpillar surrenders to its transformation, we too must embrace our depression, recognizing it not as a flaw but as a necessary stage in your journey as a human being.
- Reflection: Ask yourself the deeper questions. What needs to change? What old patterns must be let go? What new paths are calling?
- Mindfulness: Embrace practices that ground you, such as meditation, journaling, or simply spending time in nature. These bright and luminous moments become beacons of light, guiding you through the darkness.
- Seek Support: A trusted friend, family member, or professional can provide guidance. You don’t have to go through this alone.
- Cultivate Joy: Find simple pleasures that uplift your spirit, be it a hobby, a beloved pet, or a favorite book.
A New Life Awaits
“Why am I so depressed?” is not a superficial question; it’s a profound inquiry into what is deeply out of alignment in your life. Embrace the question, and this period of metamorphosis, for it is preparing you to evolve into the life that you were always meant to live.
Depression, in its silent whispers, asks us to let go, to surrender, to embrace the darkness as a precursor to transformation.
To dive deeper into this journey of transformation — to make sure that you come through the darkness and launch into your beautiful new life in a healthy & happy way — I invite you to take my comprehensive course on Finding Transformation In Depression. It is designed to guide you, step by step, through this period of metamorphosis, and help you build a better life from the ashes.
I hope this is helpful for you, and that you will look back on this as a turning point in your beautiful new life ❤️